my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
