When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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