bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
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She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
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I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine