If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings