we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
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Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
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I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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