Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
