idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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