You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
