ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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