Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
