The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize