The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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