yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
There was a lot of him and a little penis
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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