Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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