he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
