it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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