I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I wear drunk well.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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