My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
