suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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