i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
