Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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