i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Still dying that you shit outside
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Randomize
