why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
