it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
