We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I deserve this hangover.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
