You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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