My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
