Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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