I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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