White coat. Heels.
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
