Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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