Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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