Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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