He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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