Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I love having hate sex.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
