So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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