Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
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My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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