i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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