I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
