HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize