Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
