porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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