Whatcha textin bout Willis?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
