i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Randomize