oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
