So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
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there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
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I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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