zippers are such a cool invention
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
