I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
