you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
