I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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