Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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