I must be too annoying 4 u.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
