You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You made out with two different species that night
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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