I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
This is classic penis vs brain.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Randomize
