grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
