and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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