I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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