omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
dude i'm inner monologue high
the condom got lost in my hair
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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