my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
