I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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