I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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