Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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