So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
