She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You ruined the universe
Randomize
