Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize