white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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