He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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